Weight Loss

Losing weight is hard.  To be honest I’m not even sure how much I weighed at the end of my pregnancy.  All I know is that I had the worst case of chub rub on the planet at the end.  It hurt!  A little less than a week after I had Thomas Máté urged me to get on the scale.  He could tell that I had lost some weight and we were curious as to how much.  I had lost 53 pounds, according to my last weigh in with the Doctor.  Only 9 pounds of that was Thomas, the rest was all fluid!!

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This is the last bump picture I have.  It was taken 4 days before I had Thomas.  I literally had to either go barefoot or wear slippers my feet were so swollen.

I hadn’t stepped on a scale again until a few days ago.  I didn’t like what I saw.   I have struggled with my weight most of my adult life.  Always sort of yo-yo-ing with diets and going to the gym.  Back in 2012 I lost 45 pounds, the most weight I have ever lost.  My Mom and I joined a gym and went everyday but Sundays for five months.  I also followed weight watchers for my meals.  I was so proud of myself and felt so good. Then we went on vacation, and when we came home I fell off the wagon as they like to say.

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The above picture is of when I lost 45 pounds.

The weight slowly crept back at first.  I joined the Y with a friend and did classes there.  That lasted all of a hot second.  When a new exercise studio opened in town I joined them and did classes and even signed up for personal training.  Can you say crash and burn. While going to that studio I took a lot of classes.  Sometimes three a night and really watched what I ate, but the weight just wouldn’t come off.  I think I only lost about 11 pounds.  That was really a downer for me.

Once we started fertility treatments it piled on.  I didn’t ever feel like doing anything, let alone exercising.  I was a human pin cushion who felt like crap.  Plus I thought that if I exercised or dieted I was going to screw something up.  So not the case, but you convince yourself about a lot of different things when you go through infertility.  Your body goes through so much doing all the drugs not to mention your emotional state.

I should also mention that I am an emotional eater.  Not good for a Mama who has to take her sweet babe every three months for tumor checks!  It’s getting a lot better though thanks to journaling everyday.  Writing out my feelings and just general things about our day is so therapeutic for me.  Not to mention writing this blog.  I’ve also found that taking walks helps me too.

My plan going forward is to try to walk everyday and maybe give myself off on Saturdays. Máté works most Saturdays and one of our favorite things to do on Sundays is go for a family walk.  There is a great trail near our house that I can walk on.  Just put Thomas in the stroller or strap him to my back and off we can go.  On Friday last week we did 5.72 miles.  My goal was 6, but I must have had a faster pace on the way home.  It’s ok though, I’m not going to get down on myself.  That was still way better than sitting around at home.

For my diet I am going to do weight watchers again.  I’ll use my stuff from the last time so no need for new materials.  It is simple and I know it works.  To me it is much easier to count points than calories and because I love food I don’t really have to eliminate anything from my diet.  The saying is, “If you bite it, write it!”

I am going to make myself a food and exercise binder to keep track of my walks and my daily food intake.  It will also include some motivational pictures and quotes to help me. Once I have it all put together I will put a post up of what I used.  That way if you think it will help you, you can make one too.

I am really good at starting things.  Being all gung-ho and then quickly the excitement fizzles and it gets thrown to the wayside.  This is why I have decided to go public with this journey.  I posted last week on my InstaStories because to me if I throw it out into the world where others know I am hoping that I will be less likely to throw in the towel quickly.

Starting this journey is hard.  Being on the journey is hard.  I shouldn’t really even be using the word “diet”.  I hate how it sounds and to be honest I want to make this my new lifestyle.  I have Thomas to think about and I want to be around for him as long as I possibly can and I certainly don’t want my weight to inhibit the things that we can do.

I’m just going to take things nice and slow.  Not get upset if I slip up with what I ate or don’t hit as many miles as I want.  Look for the wins instead of the losses.

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