WOW. I can’t believe that it has almost been two months since I last posted. Shame on me. A lot has happened in those two months. If you follow me on Instagram you will know that our first round of IVF was not successful. So many emotions have passed through this body of mine in this amount of time. I am happy to report that tomorrow is our baseline ultrasound for round #2 and I am so excited. The doctor has changed up our protocol and I am going to be on one new med this round. I am hoping that it gives us more follicles which in turn will give us more eggs.
Our last round we got 7 eggs, of those only 6 were mature, and of those 6 only 2 fertilized. We ended up doing a day 3 transfer since we only had 2. Most people I had been following all had day 5 transfers. I remembering being on the phone with the nurse the day after the retrieval and as soon as she told me the numbers I just went numb and truthfully I stopped listening to everything that she said. I was so upset with myself, how could my body have failed again. It took me a little while to move past those thoughts and transition to feeling lucky that people who have 5 day transfers miss those extra 3 days with their babies, but I was going to get them with mine.
The day of the transfer the Doctor let us transfer both of embryos. It was such a great moment for us in the room watching our embryos be put back in. I thought for sure I was going to cry, but I managed not too. We stopped by my Dad’s work to show him the photo of his “grand-embryos” I could tell that he was pretty emotional too. I showed just about everyone that photo. I would send messages to Mate and tell him the babies and I loved him. I thought for sure that this was our time and we finally were going to get to be parents. The truth is I didn’t even make it to beta day and I had started to bleed.
I don’t know if it was because I had labeled this round as a failure after we got the call about the embryos but I wasn’t as upset about everything as I thought I would have been. I kept it together pretty well. I had felt this way after our first IUI too. I figured that it was the first one and we wouldn’t be lucky to have the good ol’ one and done.
So here we are on the eve of baseline ultrasound day. I am filled with so much hope and positivity. (There also might be some crabbiness in there too, hey I am a girl on her period what do you expect. I am also a girl who knows that shots in the stomach are in her very near future too.) I ready to kick round #2 into gear and show it who is boss. This is the one, I just know it. Every ounce of my body is telling me it’s ready and we can do this. Here we go another round in the infertility ring, I’m ready for the bell to sound so we can get this battle beat.