Back in October of last year we met for the very first time with a Reproductive doctor. I remember walking out to the parking lot with Mate and breaking down in tears. I was holding our packet of information tight to my chest and looked up at him and said, “this isn’t supposed to be how this works”. This was not the road that I had planned for us to take. While I realized that no one plans for infertility to strike them, it is not something that a young couple thinks about. You are thinking about getting married, settling into a career, buying a home, starting a family, etc. One building block at time, put each one carefully in it’s place until it is time. Then it’s let’s start making babies, this will be fun, easy, no problems….. Until 3 months turns to 6 months turns to one year which turns to 3 years, and still nothing. Which lead us to the parking lot I was standing in last October.
The doctor had just told us that if we want to have a family we had to have medical assistance. Our issue is that the quality and quantity of my eggs isn’t the best. Mate and his swimmers on the other hand are of rockstar quality. If there was anytime in my life to be optimistic now would have been the time. At that particular moment, I couldn’t see the positive in any of it. All I heard was I couldn’t naturally conceive a child. It is like a blow to heart hearing those words. I realize that I wasn’t being told I couldn’t have children, just that my road to having one was going to be tough. We had two options, we could start with IUI a less invasive treatment with a success rate of 8-10% or move to IVF which is much more invasive and starts with a success rate of 30%. We chose to start with IUI. The doctor told us that we could do three cycles of this and then would have to move to IVF.
I have come so far since that day. Today I had my third and final IUI treatment. If this one doesn’t work, we will move on to IVF. I am putting every ounce of positivity I can conjure up into this one. I almost started crying when I was able to get up from the table to get dressed again, just thinking how this was the last one. On this third try I had a completely different doctor from the first two. She was great, so upbeat and positive, I hope that we will be able to work with her again in the future if we need to. She was exactly what I needed today. We were wished good luck by several of the nurses as well when we left the clinic. It made me feel so good. Positive thoughts=Positive outcomes This is my new motto.
There have been an awful lot of “I’s” in these last paragraphs, but now I want to focus on Mate now. He has been the absolute best husband on the face of the earth. He constantly amazes me with how wonderful that he has been during all of this. There are times where I fall into “this is all my fault”. I get very depressed and down on myself. Mate does a great job of picking me back up and getting me back to the positive side of things. He never once not for one second makes me feel bad or ashamed of anything. Not to get all sappy but he truly is the best of the best. I am very lucky to have him as my co-pilot on this journey.
So here we are on the road less traveled, trying to read our map, stopping to ask for directions, and occasionally making a necessary pit stop. If this sort of road trip interests you stick around, we have a lot more windshield time ahead of us.